The confession was written by the medical coach

Nderime Xharra Sahatqija

, with the permission of the living and written in the language she used.

I’m only 14 years old.
All the men of the man went out to the mountain, some to fight, and they just want to be better. I have all women in the house, Nona, Grandma, sisters, women, girls and brides.
The Police station was not puppies far from our house. One day they came to us and checked out who we are at home. Not many nights came again. I love all women in order to play with dance music. They hadn’t cried without a dance. I saw from a edge that I don’t get into that dance. When the music was over – the most of their laughter took a song of crawl. An older woman managed to escape her. Suddenly they let it go and let it be. They sent him to the house of mixhes, in a yard with our house.
The next night they came again with the noise and lots of noise. The most important of them came looked around and his eyes stopped at me. Commander, Commander, I heard them very well calling him. He just gave a sign from me and two others took me. Nona gave it to the boat she tried to get me close to my side and they were getting away from themselves. I remember nona told you: where are you taking her is just a message. Noni has taken my hand to my hand and I was in the house and in that house that was now well known to them. Going up the stairs I’ve heard something from the stairs I’ve heard it’s better. He put me inside the room but he got the key from the door and he opened the door from the door. When I have ashes in my room I’ve seen the commander all down. The car was on the road to the ground. I’m young I’m old but with my body as big as I was. I’ve seen the car and I haven’t even got to know what I wanted to do. I just have an eye on the car. He has me hard in my face and he has a big laugh. Blood is my face but consciousness I’m lost. Masandej gave me…. a couple of hours they tell me he left me. There is a sign and someone has opened the door from the outside. How did the commander get into the room. He put my clothes on and tried to wear my clothes, but all the things I wear. He took a qarshaf in the room and brought my body. He starts with me. I didn’t feel just a bit of an ear in the ear. It’s all blood and down. I’ve taken a while but I thought that soldier helped me walk a little. How I got up on the stairs I got hyz and fell off the balcony. I’m down to the ground. But I haven’t found me alive. That Soldier took me before my hands and he was taken to my nona where they took me.
I’m all sick but I’ve been aware. The Greatest Nona I have done to me, what my grandmother has done to me, and I neither alive nor die. Just tears with me…
One of the women has taken me in the bathroom and got a little bit done. That Soldier, had told women better to get away from this country.
I got shot in a trash box because I couldn’t walk and go to that place where the men are.
When he saw me, he once thought that I was broken when he was close to me, and there is no blood, he has taken the cover in my hand, and he has made the cover of my own hands: I have given my hands with my hands.
They were like to be mad and say, do not say what happened to them if you say that they were broken. Because I’m in the delirium and when I’m out of your ex-brother, I’m on the cover but I got bigger than I didn’t know, that it’s my brother. The one with the best and told me his name until I noticed where I am. Until I got myself everyone is looking after me even better. Even after the war when the time came to school, they told my father to let me go. He admitted that I had you after I went to high school. Soon I started with the pain all over the body. I called you home because if I was hurt but dad wouldn’t let me go to the doctor.
He said, ” it is young and they know what has happened to her.
Problems begin with me, but I did not know, because the fear of my father and I did not. I wanted to talk about this job but my sisters told me they don’t understand me and I knew they didn’t like to mention this job because they probably didn’t want to mention this job. Don’t help me nona It was right immediately. You had a time for the woman who was taken before me – because she found her support.
But even that fear of her husband one day told me better not to mention this job even forgotten.
I never mentioned this job with this job.
At School I felt good at school and started dating a school friend. I started to love. Since we’ve been so far, I have done everything that has happened to me. I’m afraid I don’t know what they told me. The day and a few days is not out to school. I thought he didn’t come to school anymore that she didn’t like me. When he arrived after a few days, I have a doctor that my former man increases for a few days.
He stretched my hand and said to me, ” I will always love you, I have to deal with you I don’t leave you and he gave me a promise that this is what happened to me.
After a while I gave you home because I found a boy.
Father be did not trust me even said: who is that crazy to take you!!! “normal kurkush does not take you and always has to mention them” but we surprised everyone, we got married. The husband’s family doesn’t even know today what happened to me. After marriage I’m in surgery and my husband sent me to need through doctors. Luckily I have arrived after kids.
When they say that we can retire for retirement I have decided to attend and started to participate in meetings with the group of women.
Dad heard on tv about our right and called me. He has put me down and asked me not to take this and show up. No I have been told I have to go I decided. After how many days he called me with my husband.
” you not only have taken her as a woman, but you are also allowing her to act they said.
For his daughter, who has seen me with his eyes. There I noticed that he gave me mercy, and he gave me mercy at school, remember that no one will take me.
On that day I was resolutely told to my husband: ” I have decided to tell me worse that has happened to me, it does not go further. Just when I saw my father fall to the ground. Been lying in bed for a while.
No pain for him… I just saw it… I’m a rock.
When I got friends in the group what happened to me I could get a little…
But after love, he has followed you after love.
I know he loves me I know he better not know. But, only I know how I feel myself in front of my husband.
I don’t know what love this is. I don’t know who he wanted to protect me, when I need nobody to protect me.
I need to be happy I need to hug me and I’m good, I don’t need him to decide what to do with the theme life.
I realized, he thinks to be all like himself and my husband. But my husband is not like him. He is both my husband and my friend. He has never asked for gratitude from me for making me. Never been acting as commander of theme life.
That he very well noticed what it means to me “Commander”.

This post is also available in: Albanian

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